This is the flag I made for Isobel for the Day of Hope on 19th August. While art is definitely not my forte, writing comes more easily to me. I started this blog in July 2015, around three weeks after Isobel was born still, hoping it would help me to organise my thoughts. I had so much to say but most of it I didn’t really want to say to anyone I knew. I wanted to be able to rage and rant without consequence, to be utterly hopeless without worrying anyone, to express my anxiety without being reassured.
I didn’t really imagine that anyone would read what I wrote, but my various jumbled outpouring of words have now been read over 750 times. People taking the time to read and comment, sharing their own experiences at different stages has meant that my blog has become more than a creative outlet, it is a life line. I still hadn’t shared anything with people I knew in real life until starting Capture Your Grief, the positive response from friends reading my posts has been so validating and has really encouraged me to share more openly. I’m still keeping my blog anonymous though!!
I don’t know the ways my creative grief will evolve and transform over time. An idea that is slowly developing in my mind is to establish a healing weekend retreat for parents who have lost a baby in pregnancy or infancy. Return to Zero run these in the US and Australia, but there is not an equivalent in Northern Ireland or even the UK. A holistic/ nurturing/ pampering/ bonding/ therapeutic weekend sounds like heaven to me in my current state of mind and with my psychology/mindfulness/yoga connections I think it would be a project I could realistically attempt to create.
Maybe if there is a Creative Grief prompt for next year’s Capture Your Grief project this little idea will have been nurtured from its seedling state to something tangible…