Capture Your Grief: Day 18 – Seasons and Symbols

 Capture Your Grief Project

Like me, Isobel was born in the summer. We are only one day away from having the same birthday, she was born on 26th June while my birthday is the 27th. I feel though that she spanned every season. Winter was about finding out that Isobel existed and that all our dreams had come true. Spring was about growing our baba and preparing for our new beginning as a family. Summer was waiting for her, then discovering she was gone, bringing her in to the world and saying goodbye to her little body. Autumn was only about surviving our loss. I still have no idea how I can face season after season without her here. 

The teddy pictured is Elefunk. Elefunk is one of two identical teddies that we made for Isobel in Build a Bear. One Elefunk is beside my sleeping beauty Isobel, keeping her company. The other Elefunk is for us to hold. 

The reason we chose an elephant to be Isobel’s chum is because we decided that elephants are Isobel’s favourite animal. We went to Thailand for our honeymoon where elephants and elephant symbols are everywhere. I spent weeks 10-14 of the pregnancy there although I didn’t know I was as pregnant at the time. We spent a day with a family of elephants in a sanctuary in the jungle. We washed and fed the elephants, rode on them and played in a waterfall with the baby elephant and we will always treasure those memories knowing our baby girl was experiencing our happiness too. 

Isobel’s room was to have a jungle theme, we had a jungle wall sticker with a special elephant ready to stick on her wall. Her bouncer has little elephants on it. Many of the gender neutral clothes we bought had elephants on them. When we were choosing Isobel’s first and unfortunately her only outfit, we decided to dress her in a beautiful white outfit with elephants and rabbits on her top and her hat. I now wear an elephant charm everywhere I go. 

Elephants will forever remind us of our gorgeous girl. 

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5 thoughts on “Capture Your Grief: Day 18 – Seasons and Symbols

  1. Mine was Owls. I have an Owl tattoo on my left forearm with my daughters name.
    I wish I had capture your grief when I was going through my grieving period.

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      1. It would have been useful when I first lost my girl. I’m in a good place now and have moved forward from my grief. You’ll get there too xo

        Yeah tattoos hurt. And yet I keep getting them. I love body art. The way it looks.

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