An Impatient Patient 

As planned, I was admitted to hospital on Monday 9th May in advance of my Caesarian section on Friday 13th May! At the time we planned it, the purpose of the admission was for observation and monitoring and to help with my anxiety in the final few days. A last minute Gestational Diabetes diagnosis last Friday has meant that my blood sugars are also being monitored and since taking the steroids to mature the baby’s lungs I’ve had to take some insulin as my sugar levels are all over the place. 

I’m having mixed feelings about being in hospital. I’m happy to be here and have the responsibility for keeping this baby alive be a little shared! The CTGs twice a day and multiple Doppler heart rate checks in between are so reassuring. It’s good to know that when I have any concerns, I don’t have to go through the waiting period, obsessing about movement and trying to decide if it is in fact reduced and if I need to get checked out. The midwives have been really lovely and answered all my millions of questions!!

The main downside to being here is the other patients! Some are constantly trying to chat and I feel so antisocial but I just want to keep to myself. Telling my story and why I’m here over and over again is too tiring right now. Others are complaining bitterly about being in hospital and want to go home against medical advice even though it will put their baby at risk. They are so naive as to think that nothing bad will happen to them. They don’t know how jealous I am that their baby’s problems have been identified and are being treated. Other stories are striking me with fear, like the woman whose placenta is failing and the baby hasn’t moved in two weeks but for some reason (probably a very good medical reason that I’m not privy to) is being kept waiting for the baby to be delivered. She has been told the baby is conserving energy due to the limited placental functioning and she doesn’t seem overly scared, I’m terrified for her. Every now and then a woman comes in labour and progresses through this ward to the labour and delivery ward. In my mind I imagine their straightforward pregnancy journey, easy and effortless, and I’m jealous.  

Nevertheless the time is passing. Two nights done and two to go. Tomorrow I can say that “I’m having my baby tomorrow”! When I saw that positive pregnancy test at the beginning of October 2015 I could never have imagined being here, almost at the finish line. Now I have the same inability to imagine holding a baby boy that’s mine and that’s Simon’s. But that experience too will come, all I have to do is let the seconds tick away… 

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18 thoughts on “An Impatient Patient 

  1. I’m so glad that you’re in the hospital under constant monitoring. I’m counting down the seconds with you and thinking of you lots! That is really odd about the woman with the failing placenta, hmmmm …

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  2. I’m so glad that you are in and reassured. I’d happily admit myself from day one if they’d let me!! I’d go crazy though, especially with all those other patients. People’s naivety is hard to swallow. Good luck for letting the time pass over the next day or so, thinking of you xx

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    1. Yes I did suggest that initially (and asked for a 9 month induced coma) but was declined!! You would honestly go insane in here for weeks on end though but it’s definitely helpful for the last few days xx

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  3. Sounds like a nightmare. I don’t know how I’d cope with the naivety of others. That ‘conserving energy’ thing sounds like total BS. Anyway, all you can do is focus on you and your little guy. Let those seconds tick by. Will be waiting for your news on Friday xxx

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    1. Yeah I just want to tell them all to question everything and that babies die all too often but I don’t think that would be too popular!!! Thank you, will post as soon as I can on Friday xx

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  4. OMG – you’re so close. I’m want to be this close, but to see you here is inspiring. Sending you tons of well wishes for the rest of today, Thursday, and Friday. Those other patients sound incredibly annoying, and I agree that failing placenta thing is wayyyyy questionable. You’re so close!!! xoxo

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    1. Thank you! It feels so close but then it’s like the window for something to go wrong is getting smaller which is even scarier if you know what I mean?! Can’t wait til that window closes!!!!! Xx

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  5. I’m so jealous! You’re so close, it’s rubbish about the GD diagnosis. I’m properly fed up with a lack of cake and constant blood tests now and am really not looking forward to the steroid injections messing with my levels! It’s all going to be so worth it though! I’m so looking forward to hearing your happy news and seeing pictures of your little man. You’ve been through so much, just two more days. The longest two days ever but you’re in the best place. I’m so excited for you xx

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    1. I really feel for you with dealing with the GD for as long as you have, it’s a pain and hospital food + steroids is not helping!!! Just hoping there hasn’t been any impact on the little one! Hang in there, the biggest piece of cake ever awaits you xx

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      1. Tomorrow you get to meet your little boy! I really can’t wait to hear that he’s arrived safely! The GD is a pain but it’s best that they’ve picked it up, I’m still managing to control mine through diet at the moment but not sure that will last with the steroids! Just under 5 weeks left for me and it feels like forever right now! Good luck for tomorrow, I’ll be thinking of you, it’s going to be a wonderful day xxxx

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  6. I’m really glad you are in hospital and are under observation. I can imagine the other patients are driving you crazy! But not long now. Your son is almost here! X

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